{"id":2417,"date":"2025-12-21T09:56:00","date_gmt":"2025-12-21T09:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/?p=2417"},"modified":"2025-12-20T19:57:19","modified_gmt":"2025-12-20T19:57:19","slug":"romanticizing-autism-is-dangerous-the-truth-is-that-many-families-live-in-silence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/romanticizing-autism-is-dangerous-the-truth-is-that-many-families-live-in-silence\/","title":{"rendered":"Romanticizing autism is dangerous: the truth is that many families live in silence."},"content":{"rendered":"<figure class=\"wp-block-video\"><video height=\"1920\" style=\"aspect-ratio: 1080 \/ 1920;\" width=\"1080\" controls src=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/ADS1_-COB_Basta_de_romantizar_el_autismo-VEED-VEED.mp4\"><\/video><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>There&#039;s a phrase that keeps coming back to me, because I hear it too often in consultations, in schools, in conversations between professionals, and on social media:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Someone has to say it: stop romanticizing autism.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And I don&#039;t say this to extinguish hope. I say it to protect it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because when we turn autism into a &quot;pretty&quot; narrative at all costs, what we unwittingly do is erase a part of the reality that many families experience every day. And when that reality is erased, so is the right to support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I want to say this in a friendly and respectful way: <strong>Not everyone can talk about autism from the same perspective.<\/strong>. It&#039;s not the same to watch from the outside as it is to experience it from within. It&#039;s not the same to share an inspiring post as it is to spend an entire night without sleep because your child is dysregulated, or because you&#039;re constantly on high alert waiting for the next meltdown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And here&#039;s the point: when public discourse is filled with pretty phrases, many families feel they aren&#039;t allowed to speak the truth. And if there&#039;s no permission to speak the truth, there&#039;s no space to ask for help either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Romanticizing is not respecting<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right\">________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Romanticizing it sounds good. It seems like a way to defend neurodiversity. But there&#039;s a huge difference between <strong>celebrate<\/strong> and <strong>make up<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Celebrating neurodiversity means recognizing that there are other ways of perceiving, feeling, learning, and <a href=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/https-cristinaorozbajo-com-autism-and-language-communication\/\">communicate<\/a>. It&#039;s looking at the person with <a href=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/10-ideas-to-do-at-home-with-children-with-autism\/\">autism<\/a> With dignity, without shame, and without stereotypes. It means ceasing to demand &quot;normality&quot; as a condition for respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Romanticizing, on the other hand, means turning a neurological condition into a slogan: \u201cit\u2019s a superpower,\u201d \u201cthey\u2019re all geniuses,\u201d \u201cthey just think differently.\u201d And that simplification comes at a cost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because <strong>It&#039;s not pretty.<\/strong> when a child self-harms because they cannot <a href=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/https-cristinaorozbajo-com-autism-and-language-communication\/\">communicate<\/a> their pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#039;s not inspiring when a family stops leaving the house for fear of a crisis in public.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#039;s not magic when parents haven&#039;t slept in months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And denying this doesn&#039;t help anyone. It only leaves people alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The emotional trap: when &quot;beautiful&quot; turns into silence<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right\">________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There is a very dangerous trap in this romanticization: guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If the social message is &quot;this is a superpower&quot; and you are exhausted, scared, or sad, it&#039;s easy for that poisonous thought to appear: &quot;I&#039;m the one who&#039;s failing.&quot;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And no. You&#039;re not failing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You&#039;re going through something difficult. And difficult things need support, not pretty words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many mothers and fathers feel obligated to smile in public, to justify everything, to show that they are &quot;handling it well.&quot; And inside they are broken, tired, afraid, with a loneliness that is not visible on Instagram.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Romanticization, although it may seem positive, can become a form of invalidation: if you say &quot;it&#039;s costing me,&quot; someone replies &quot;but look at it as a gift.&quot;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And here&#039;s a clear demand: <strong>You can&#039;t ask a family to turn their pain into poetry so that the world will tolerate it.<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The real harm of romanticizing autism<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right\">________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Romanticizing is not neutral. It has consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1) Blame the families<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When the dominant narrative says that &quot;it&#039;s a superpower,&quot; many families feel they don&#039;t have the right to be unwell. And that&#039;s cruel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because feeling bad doesn&#039;t mean you don&#039;t love. Feeling bad means you&#039;re tired. It means you&#039;re carrying a lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And when a family feels guilty for being tired, they stop asking for help. And when they stop asking for help, they are left alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2) Professional minimization (and delay in support)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When something is romanticized, it is also minimized. And when it is minimized, intervention is either late or inadequate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Signs of suffering become normalized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Deregulation is interpreted as \u201cmanipulation\u201d or \u201cmisconduct\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The child is expected to &quot;adapt&quot; without tools.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Inclusion is confused with presence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And that&#039;s not respect. That&#039;s well-intentioned neglect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As a professional, I tell you honestly: <strong>Good intentions don&#039;t compensate for a lack of tools<\/strong>. And the child pays the price.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3) Social misunderstanding<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If society believes that the <a href=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/diagnosing-autism-with-a-look\/\">autism<\/a> It&#039;s &quot;just being different,&quot; so he doesn&#039;t understand why adaptations, support, resources, and accompaniment are needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He doesn&#039;t understand why a family needs help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He doesn&#039;t understand why a classroom needs structure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He doesn&#039;t understand why an autistic person might need support for life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And when society doesn&#039;t understand, it judges. And when it judges, it isolates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4) Resource cuts<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And here&#039;s the most dangerous part: when something is perceived as &quot;not so serious,&quot; resources are reduced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Less support in the classroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Less early intervention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Less training.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Less support for families.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Less time to truly intervene.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And then we&#039;re surprised that there&#039;s teacher burnout, overwhelmed families, and suffering children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Autism can be both beautiful and challenging.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right\">________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The demand is not &quot;everything is terrible.&quot; The demand is <strong>the whole truth<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The <a href=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/10-ideas-to-do-at-home-with-children-with-autism\/\">autism<\/a> It is a neurological condition that can bring real strengths: sensitivity, memory, focus, honesty, creativity, unique ways of seeing the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And it can also bring real challenges: <a href=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/https-cristinaorozbajo-com-autism-and-language-communication\/\">communication<\/a>, sensory regulation, flexibility, anxiety, sleep, feeding, autonomy, <a href=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/play-and-object-interactions-in-autism\/\">interaction<\/a> social.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We don&#039;t have to choose one extreme.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We can say: <strong>There is beauty and there is difficulty<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We can love our children deeply and, at the same time, recognize that there are things that hurt and that are difficult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We can celebrate neurodiversity without denying suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And this is important: <strong>Acknowledging the difficulty is not being negative<\/strong>. It&#039;s about being honest. And honesty is the first step in building real support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"940\" height=\"788\" src=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/basta.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2419\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/basta.png 940w, https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/basta-300x251.png 300w, https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/basta-768x644.png 768w, https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/basta-14x12.png 14w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 940px) 100vw, 940px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What autism doesn&#039;t need (and what it does)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right\">________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Autism does not need to be romanticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It needs to be understood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And understanding is not about giving an opinion. Understanding is about looking with discernment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What is <a href=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/https-cristinaorozbajo-com-autism-and-language-communication\/\">communicating<\/a> This behavior.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What is deregulating this child?.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What support do you need to participate?.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What adjustments does the environment need?.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What tools does the family need?.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Understanding translates into concrete actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And here&#039;s another claim: <strong>We cannot continue asking families to endure.<\/strong>. We need to ask the systems to respond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Respect + support: the minimum to speak of dignity<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right\">________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If I had to sum it up in one sentence, it would be this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Respect without support falls short.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because true respect is shown when the system responds:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>With <a href=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/https-cristinaorozbajo-com-autism-and-language-communication\/\">communication<\/a> functional (not just &quot;that speaks&quot;).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>With prepared environments (not just &quot;that adapts&quot;).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>With practical training for professionals.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>With support for families.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>With sustainable resources, not stopgap measures.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>And also with something that seems small, but isn&#039;t: with a cultural change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let&#039;s stop looking at families as &quot;exaggerated&quot;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let&#039;s stop asking them to be heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let&#039;s stop using the word &quot;inclusion&quot; as decoration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">An invitation: share your truth<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right\">________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are a mother, father, professional, or an autistic person and this topic affects you, I&#039;m here to read your comments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>SHARE YOUR TRUTH.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not to argue about who is right, but to open up space for what many people keep silent about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The truth doesn&#039;t take away hope. The truth places it where it belongs: in the tools, in understanding, and in real support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And if you are in Spain and need professional guidance for your situation (family, school or teacher), you can write to me using the form on <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/contact-your-pedagogy-specialist-in-barcelona\/\">Contact<\/a><\/strong>. Sometimes you don&#039;t need more strength: you need a plan, tools, and support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hay una frase que me sale con fuerza, porque la escucho demasiado en consulta, en colegios, en conversaciones entre profesionales [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2419,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[218],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2417","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-autismo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2417","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2417"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2417\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2421,"href":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2417\/revisions\/2421"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2419"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2417"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2417"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cristinaorozbajo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2417"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}