1 — ANTICIPATION and PREVENTION: avoid conflict situations, detect the previous signs.
We all know that There are places more committed than others (the supermarket queue, the corner kiosk, etc.). If one of us goes out with the child to the supermarket, the other pays and picks up the shopping, or if we avoid passing by the toy store... we will be saving ourselves unnecessary trouble.A child does not go from zero to one hundred in a second.Before a conflict breaks out, there are some signs that can tell us our child doesn't agree with something and is getting angry. If we pay attention, we'll surely detect a small gesture of displeasure or an "I don't like it."
2 — EMPATHY and FLEXIBILITY: Put ourselves in their shoes and really it can't be?
We must keep in mind that the way of understanding the reality of children is very different to that of adults. Where we see a messy room, they see their own order, their own arrangement of things. We parents have to distinguishthe things that are really important of the more secondary ones. We often fill their lives with rules and limits that have no real practical meaning and are a source of frustration for children.
Children must have and understand some minimum safety rules. (knives cut), coexistence (if I shout at night, I can disturb others) and respect for others (if I hit someone else, it hurts), but beyond these minimum limits, Children also need room to experiment, enjoy and expand their minds.
3 — COMMUNICATION and OPTIONS: Verbalize what is happening to you and offer alternatives if it cannot be done.
To minimize children's angry outbursts we need communicationIf our child is able to express things like "I don't like it" or "I'm getting angry," by the time they reach 2 or 3 years old, it will be much easier for us to understand what they want and to be able to talk to them when it's not possible to give them what they want. Choose the right moment (while they're in the middle of a drama, it will be difficult for them to listen), speak to them calmly, in a serene tone, and explain the reasons why they can't do what they want at that moment: "I know you want to keep riding your bike, but it's getting dark, Mom is very tired, and we have to go home." This way, they'll feel respected and learn to treat other people with respect.
You always have to have a "plan B"We should keep a list of our children's favorite activities and games in mind so we can offer them an alternative when we can't give them what they want. Running, somersaults, tickling, etc. In general, any activity that involves playing with mom or dad is a godsend. Any child would rather play with their parents than receive a treat.
4 — FATIGUE IN CHILDREN AND ADULTS: The great enemy; breathe and… ask for relief!
When we're tired, we're more irritable; it happens to adults and even to children. There are very boring or tiring situations (shopping at the supermarket or a car trip) and If we combine tiredness and boredom, conflict can arise at any time.
Adults also experience moments of exhaustion when it's harder to talk and stay calm with their children. There are very complicated situations that can push us to the limits of our endurance. In these moments, we should pause, take a few deep breaths, and, if possible, ask for a brief respite to regain our composure. Always remember: You must keep in mind that you are the adult and the main role model for your children. Your handling of these situations will lay the foundation for how they resolve conflicts as adults. If they've been treated with respect, they'll grow up more balanced, knowing how to defend themselves and express their opinions.
Text adapted from:
https://www.abc.es/familia-padres-hijos/20131116/abci-rabietas-infantiles-actuar-201311151247.html