"If you want to understand a child, don't listen to his words; observe his behavior." (A. Einstein)
As we promised you after the Webinar on How to Manage Frustration and Aggression? Behavioral Tips for Families And at the request of many families, here are some key points on this topic that we touched on live, so important and so difficult to manage!
Let's assess this situation, with the first brushstrokes to understand the context before entering the topic, from the beginning, why we need to analyze what really concerns us, the weight it carries, and the tools we have to change that reality, from home and successfully.
EACH CASE IS UNIQUE: I want to start with the causes of this type of behavior. If we know the origins, it will be easier to intervene. Knowing that everything in the world of children with disorders is complex and extensive, and There are no unique solutions either. The Aggressive behaviors should always be taken as a top priority, regardless of whether they occur in young children or adults. The longer these types of behaviors persist, the more entrenched they become, and the more time and effort it will take to extinguish them. Whether it involves aggressive behaviors toward the environment, other people, or oneself, we must act as quickly as possible.
ORIGINS: Within the origins of aggressive behaviors we will take into account 3 main causes: Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), Communication and Language Problems, and Behavioral Problems. Don't worry, in the coming days we'll be dedicating specific posts to each of these causes!
INTERVENTION:
- PHARMACOLOGICAL: We cannot forget as first the pharmacological type of response, that is, medicating our children, generally leads us to a problem of scientific evidence that tells us thatdrugs are not the best option, that the risks outweigh the benefits, especially in children. However, at a certain point, it may be very useful to do so temporarily in parallel with the intervention.. One thing we have to be very clear about, in the case of prescribing drugs it has to be done by a professional with a medical accreditationA psychiatrist, in the case of young children, a pediatric neurologist, or a medical professional are the professionals who can prescribe medication. Age plays a very important role here; we more easily find specialists willing to work with a 5-year-old child and a 16-year-old adolescent. Approaching a 1.80m, 100kg boy with aggressive behavior requires a professional trained in restraint techniques, able to intervene without causing pain to the other person as a safety measure.
- BEHAVIORAL: This is where we come to the central point of this webinar, because we are convinced that the most appropriate intervention in these cases is behavior modification, not only in the behavioral aspects but in all of these aspects, which in many cases will coexist with the behaviors we see and are trying to redirect or eliminate.
STARTING POINT: I think that something we have to make clear as essential is that this type of behavior They don't appear overnight. There is a progressive process of appearance. Possibly the family has tried to find the best solutions, but sometimes they never end up arriving and the result that brings us here today is generally bad and It is extremely important that changes begin as soon as possible.
As we always talk about the ideal, and the ideal is that families that are starting out in this world of behavior, once this type of behavior begins to appear, we can count on the support from professionals that can help us find out what the origin or origins of this behavior are and we can have a intervention program, with a comprehensive approach to all aspects that are influencing these behavioral management.
TEAMWORK: It is very important that the family is part of the programming and intervention at all levels. It's very curious how sometimes we find that it is the child who modifies the parents' behavior and not the other way around. So, training for mothers and fathers is essential, It's the fastest way to see changes and consolidate them. It's absurd to take a child with these types of problems to a professional office, expecting them to solve everything on their own, and then for us to do nothing at home, or worse yet, let's keep making the same mistakes.
A POSSIBLE CHANGE: I would like to point out that these behavioral problems can be resolved, and that the vast majority of cases are resolved. It's true that in some exceptional cases or situations, success is much more complex because many factors simultaneously play a role in this type of behavior, and they aren't solely the responsibility of the person who develops these aggressive moments. But except in specific cases, it's normal for With work (a lot of work), perseverance and discipline, these aggressive behaviors will disappear and become anecdotal events of low intensity tomorrow.
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE: On the other hand, these tips that may be of no use to us wait some time These behaviors will disappear because all these behavioral manifestations obey a stage of development in which our children do not present a normal development sometimes. We cannot explain or negotiate with words either. Because they don't understand language well, or in everyday life there are so many causes, such as the temperature, something they ate, a noise they don't like, that we can't expect what worked one day to be equally effective the next. This is what we call inconsistency in these behaviors.
IF WE DON'T ACT: And what we find at the level of parents' strategy, what generally happens is that The simplest and apparently most effective thing is to give him pleasure If they want something, with food, something to self-stimulate or not work or comfort them to avoid any unpleasantness but what will happen? that parents will be trapped by their children's inappropriate reactions and with little ability to manage and react. Most parents try to talk to them and explain things to them, but in many cases, it is completely useless, so while The number of poorly managed tantrums, crying, and outbursts is constantly increasing, and parents' anxiety is growing, with a feeling of helplessness, frustration, and low self-esteem due to not knowing how to control our children, whom, despite everything, we love deeply.
Don't miss the next article where we will talk specifically about Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) as the leading cause of behavioral problems in children with developmental difficulties!
Cristina Oroz Bajo