Mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, professional…
First, take care of yourself, recover, and rediscover your new identity, because it's clear you're not the same. Motherhood is something that transforms not only your daily life but also your relationship, your leisure time, your self-image, your preference system, your body! There's a lot of talk about work-life balance, but before that, mothers also have to achieve other kinds of balance: maternal, wife, friend, daughter, and "wife."
I think this is where we should focus all our attention: on that person who wants to re-emerge, but not with the same image, nor doing the same things, nor in the same way.
We must mainly pay attention to 3 aspects:
The body. Cultivating healthy habits helps the mind reorganize itself. Exercise, regardless of the discipline, allows us to take care of our bodies not solely for aesthetic reasons, but as a mental support system that will re-oxygenate our thoughts, our will, and our ego.
The mind. We must organize our will, our desires, our concerns, and reestablish the mourning process that comes with returning to "real life," which is no longer real to us. Our leisure time, our relationship, our work... have been transformed, disappeared, or deteriorated... in short, they have changed, and we must engage in a self-reflective and arduous exercise of our entire "new life." On numerous occasions, we have taken up hobbies we kept in the trunk of memories, we have become entrepreneurial working mothers compatible with our new life goals, we have reinvented our relationships with others... It is a moment of crisis that gives rise to a new resurgence of the person, and this turning point, when properly oriented, makes it an incredible opportunity to pursue dreams, meet expectations, and reinvent ourselves as a person with astonishing strength and determination. I'll just focus on one aspect: keep in mind that your partner isn't experiencing this moment the way you are, so once again we have to be subtle diplomats so as not to destabilize our partners too much, as we run the risk of them drifting.
The social environment. With motherhood and parenting, we realize that our circles change, our childless friends drift apart, and other family structures are drawn empathetically to our circle. It's also true that the mother's social circle is more affected than the father's, but don't worry, this readjustment is natural, and little by little we'll recover and create new environments of relief for ourselves. Try to leave your comfort zone and meet new people who excite you and make you feel the way you want to feel again. Identify your shortcomings and work on them tirelessly and with determination, but with a firm footing. Find yourself again in those situations where you are yourself in all your splendor and clean the rust off your social being.
If you want to have more patience with your family, start by having it for yourself, for your own things, what keeps you alive, what gives you feedback, and then you'll be ready to show how the patience that comes out of you has also changed, believe me!
Cristina Oroz Bajo