When you become a mother and a father, people realize how incredible it will be, how fascinating it is to raise little people who are an extension of your senses, who give you everything nothing else can, but who also take away your space, time, and meaning, immersing you in an ocean of unimaginable changes.
You have to prepare for the incessant crying, the sicknesses that make your stomach clench, the dirty diapers, the seemingly endless chaos at home, tripping over toys wherever your foot lands, sleepless nights that stretch into weeks or even months, arguments over looks, existential doubts, changes, changes, and changes, rediscovering yourself while rediscovering your partner, changes in your social environment, your routine, your leisure time, your priorities and preferences. All of these things also come with being a mother and a father, and it's going to be very hard. In fact, we encounter many crises throughout this phase of motherhood that, if not overcome, can lead to breakups, depression, stress... and all of this from the worst of situations, faced with the greatest responsibility to act in an impeccable, confident, cordial, and sweet manner during the most demanding time of our lives.
You'll be unpredictable, excessive, selfish, rude, disrespectful, capricious, impulsive, aggressive, expert... and, on the other hand, a fighter, strong, condescending, empathetic, a model, a negotiator, a peacemaker, a speaker, a theorist, and a practitioner. You can imagine the complex situation of balancing all this by keeping the scales on the right side while the weights continue to pile up uncontrollably on both sides in seconds.
Think before you speak, speak without stopping, stop to breathe, breathe alone, with your partner, or just with your children. Learn not to be perfect, acknowledge the mistakes that seem like burdens that will never let you look your children, your partner, your parents in the eye again... mistakes that now weigh heavily and are impossible to digest, but that give you unparalleled strength and growth. Think about the non-parallel process of the other, with opposing and even contrary rhythms, as distant as they are close. And don't make drastic decisions without taking an internal, external, and global look at the situation and without having put all your fuel on the fire, criticizing yourself, changing, breathing, and standing alongside the person who accompanies you, both fearful and brave, in this process. Give yourself a chance, because you have the tools, because insanity is expecting different results by always doing, saying, and breathing the same way.
Give yourself importance as a tool for generating change, oxygen, joy, and peace, because human power is incredible and can overcome the highest mountain, the greatest disappointment, heartbreak, and heartbreak, turning everything from within, from within yourself, from you. And never, ever forget what you truly want and whether what you're doing is truly moving you in that direction or away from it.
Cristina Oroz Bajo