Frustration is a feeling of sadness, disappointment and disillusionment that appears when a wish, a project, an illusion either a need is not met or satisfied. Children experience a wide range of emotions such as anger, sadness, anguish, anxiety, etc.. All of us at some point in our lives have experienced this feeling, but we normally have Motivational and emotional tools that help us manage it correctly and that is why it is necessary to work on these aspects with our little ones.
Children can express their frustration in a variety of ways. For example, act in a rebellious manner towards authority figures, such as their parents, caregivers, and playmates. In young children, this can present itself in the form of the well-known "tantrums." However, other children may express this frustration through destructive and dangerous attitudes as a way of channeling it, hitting or breaking objects (Some more serious cases may lead to self-harm). Some children may also express it in a much more emotional way, expressing feelings of sadness, demotivation and anxiety.
That is why it is extremely important to resort to emotional laborHere we present some of them Tips that can work to manage frustration and emotions of your child from home.
- Reinforce him positively: Surely there are many conflict situations but sometimes we stop seeing those Occasions where frustration could have come out but he knew how to handle it, that's where we want you to focus your attention, looking for situations to mark them positively as anchoring the flag of what we do want to happen, this is a super important exercise in almost all the situations we want to work on with our children, Let's emphasize the good, the ability, the achievement... so our children will have a clearer idea of where we want to take them!!! Any small step your little one takes should be celebrated.
- Help your child accept what cannot be changed: It is often said that problems do not exist because if there is a solution it is solved, and if there isn't one it's not a problem but it is a factThere are things that they simply cannot be changed and that's where our little ones have to feel that we understand them and accompany them throughout the entire process of "feeling" this process, from the moment they rise to the moment they fall. There's a phrase we love: “You are more nervous, I am calmer.” When we experience these moments, personal issues come to light, our own frustrations or we simply personalize what is happening, magnifying and enhancing the action when deep down we should be containers for our children's emotions.
- Look for situations when you are not directly involved in them: Ask your child to name all the things that make him angry, when we have nonverbal children… a picture is worth a thousand words, Use images to work on the situation outside of the actual situation, generating empathy, understanding and reasoningIt's very important not to do this exercise in a moment of frustration, when the rational part is more blocked than the emotional part. These photos can help us later identify them as sources of frustration. Invite your child to break it into small pieces (This provides a much-needed physical release of emotion) and throws it into the air. Then gather the pieces and throw them away forever.
- Deep breathing. You've probably heard a lot about the power of deep breathing lately, and for good reason. When done correctly, deep breathing can calm a child's senses and help them get through a frustrating event without resorting to yelling. The best time to practice deep breathing is when both of you are calm. Until they get used to it, children tend to associate deep breathing with rapid breathing, which has the opposite effect. It's important to work on these skills. before needing them so we have the skill before we need it in a stressful situation. We can do the exercise… I breathe in the flower I have in one hand and inflate the balloon I have in the other! In a graphic way, we do this as a daily activity that can then make our child connect with… the flower… the balloon… When we really need it, or we can do it ourselves to prepare ourselves to face these difficult situations, when our child sees us, he will identify that it is time to take control of our emotions and let them pass until they end and we relocate ourselves emotionally.
- Teach the relaxation traffic light: In addition to teaching that red means stop, he yellow means reduce speed and the green means go, it's necessary to go a step further by teaching them to visualize a red light to stop at in a moment of frustration. This is when they can take advantage of deep breathing to calm their minds and bodies. When they turn to a yellow light, they should think of three possible solutions (Ask for help? Try again? Ask?). When they visualize the green light, they can choose an option and move forward. Go ahead and create a large traffic light out of construction paper to stick on their refrigerator for reference. Over time, this process will become second nature, and the meltdowns will fade.
“When in doubt about what to do or not to do, always do,
because if you make a mistake you will have the experience,
and if you don’t do it, you will be left with frustration!”
(Alejandro Jodorowsky)